ForgottenWoman

The effects of our words, whether positive or negative, are powerful and yet, too often not considered. This has become increasingly evident to me recently and as is often the case, my heart and mind have been sitting in the ‘mud’ of it for a while.

One of my weekly activities through Tranquility is teaching a class on Biblical Forgiveness and in the beginning of this class (4 years ago) neither I nor those who attend understood the value of the study or how it would transform our lives. See, when we dig deeply into all that Biblical Forgiveness entails, we realize just how much we’ve never thought about or understood.

Anyway, the study has brought us to a place of looking squarely in the face of anger. What is anger? Why do we feel anger? Is the emotion of anger sinful? “Godly” people speak of righteous anger – what in the world is that anyway? There is no way to go into all of this in a blogpost, but I share just a bit of where we started to tell you that a small bit of what we’re learning and how my thinking has been transformed has brought me to today’s subject and pushed me to address it here.

See, righteous, just, sanctified, holy anger is not only not sinful – it is necessary in the lives of believers. Sanctified anger pushes us to respond to sin, to the unjust behavior that hurts individuals. Guess what keeps us from responding? Our tendency to protect self. Why does it always go back to self-centered thinking? It just does. Too often, we sit quietly by and hear or watch someone else being stung, hurt or even destroyed by the tongue of another. “I don’t want to get involved,” “It’s none of my business,” or “What if that tongue is turned on me?” take precidence over, “I just watched her try to hold back tears because of his words and he needs to be told that he’s wrong!”

Ok. So we’ve established the reason that this blogpost is being written. Now, let’s get into it. I’m (as is often the case) going to share a couple of very personal and painful moments here with one purpose: to point out the power of our words. I’m then going to point out a couple of very personal and encouraging moments with one purpose: to point out the power of our words.

As a reader here, most of you know that I’ve been involved in and running a ministry for women for many years and have done so one day at a time praying for God’s provision to cover the expenses. I literally dream of the day that the financial needs are taken care of in a way that allows me to breathe and walk out from under that pressure and just focus on serving day in and day out. You also know that I am deeply involved in every aspect of life that my children are involved in and my heart beats with them for the ministries that they pour themselves into. You may also know that we are all excited and working toward the launch of a new church the end of this month. My son, Joshua will be the lead pastor and my son, Joey will be the executive pastor.

As is always the case with the launch of a new church, one concern is the finances needed for materials and equipment. Well, I received a call from Josh last week sharing that a large donation had been given to the church’s needs. My entire being rejoiced with him as he talked about how unexpected it was, how so much of what is needed could now be purchased and what a burden had been lifted from his shoulders with this one donation. With tears in my eyes, I rejoiced with him! I can honestly say that I felt nothing but pure joy and relief with him.

When I received the phone call, I was with someone and shared the good news. A few minutes later as we were talking, she said something to the effect of, “That is really a large gift – that’s really something!” I (without thinking much of it) smiled and said with a laugh, “Yes, it is! That’s the kind of gift that I DREAM of happening for Tranquility!” Without a moment of hesitation she responded with, “You aren’t Josh!”

Some of you feel a tiny bit of what I felt in that moment as you read that paragraph. Some of you are in shock. Some of you may not feel it – and wonder why I’m sharing here. Well, I’m going to try to explain what that felt lilke – though in the moment I couldn’t even think words to describe it! There were only three words in the sentence, but those three words said so much more to my heart.

*You aren’t good enough

*What you do doesn’t really matter!

*Why would anyone support you?

*Your son is so much better than you!

*Of course someone would support him and not you!

*Why would you even dream of such a thing?

*What a stupid thing to say!

*There is value in him – but you…?

What did I have to do with all of those thoughts and feelings? I had to walk away and get alone with my Father and try to lay it all at His feet. If I’m honest with you, I had no words. I couldn’t even express the hurt and found myself simply saying over and over, “This hurts so much, please help me!” As with everything in this life, every word spoken to us and every action done toward us, I know that God will use all things to bring Himself glory and for my good, right? So, I asked Him to teach me whatever I need to learn, even in these circumstances! The main thing so far is to understand how potent words are and to watch my own. So, while I am thrilled to rejoice with those whose dreams and ministries are receiving the support and funding they so need, I continue to rejoice in the place where I am – depending completely on the Lord one day at a time and as long as He wants me walking this road of growing my faith and dependence on Him; I’ll willing do it.

This interaction also brought some old hurt to the surface that I needed to deal with – maybe we need to see that as another positive. Buried memories that caused wounds often simmer slowly to a place of resentment and bitterness that we don’t even realize has developed – but when something like this brings that wound to light, it is so important that we deal with it God’s way: Biblical forgiveness and laying the hurt at His feet. He can handle it!!

The memory that came to the surface? It was many years ago. I was widowed and as has been the case for much of my life, financially walking by faith – making it one day at a time. My boys and I lived in clothes donated by others and I prayed for the daily food that we needed and that I often wasn’t sure how I’d purchase it! One morning I opened the front door to see a few cars along the road in front of the house. (I had prayed the night before for the food we needed and did not have). When I realized that the women climbing out of the cars were my friends from a Bible study that we held in my house every Thursday, I wondered if I had my days mixed up. (This was a Wednesday). It wasn’t long before they began carrying bags and boxes of groceries into my house and putting them away in the pantry and refrigerator! As a relayed my excitement and how I had prayed for this food to the same individual that I had the interaction with last week she said, “Who do you think you are? You aren’t George Mueller!” Again, some of you are feeling what I felt in that moment! Some of you are in shock and others are wondering what the big deal is. When this memory resurfaced last week, I was able to put into words how that sentence made me feel!

*George Mueller had the right to pray for food – you don’t!

*Who do you think you are that God would do that?

*That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard!

*God didn’t answer your prayer – some ladies felt sorry for you.

*You just think your needs matter to God.

*I don’t think you matter enough for God to do that for you.

Yes, as the memories surfaced and the pain of the buried wounds were felt, I went back to time with the Lord. Obviously, those words from years ago still echoed through my being, even though I had not consciously remembered them for a long time. I knew that I had to go through the process of facing that pain, choosing forgiveness and asking God to handle what I cannot. As these types of memories surface, we have the opportunity to deal with them – removing the seeds that can simmer and grow into something we cannot get past! It also gives us the opportunity to break down the things that continue to affect our relationships with the people who have hurt us with their words – things that subconsciously affect us and cause pain when we don’t even realize why they cause pain!

So, in these two examples I share how just a few words can hurt, linger, cause us to see ourselves through a negative lens that God never intends for us to view ourselves through. For me, the past couple of weeks have been filled with times of intentionally talking to the Lord, my Heavenly Father, Who listens and has the power to heal the wounds!

Now, the good news is that words also have the power to bring life and encouragement! Within the past two weeks, as I’ve been working through the negative, I’ve received 4-5 messages from people who simply wanted to say thank you for the work that I do. Two of them went into great detail about how they are being helped and encouraged. Those messages don’t fill someone like me with pride – which is why I think some people refuse to compliment or encourage. They do just the opposite. They truly send me back to my time with the Lord to humbly thank Him for choosing to let me and my feeble efforts be a small part in His plan to draw people to Himself!

Another example of how our words can have a powerful and positive impact are these words that came through a phone message just days ago. “Can’t even put into words how thankful I am to our Lord for your life and your presence in mine.” Just sit for a few minutes and read those words and consider their impact! Just a few words that speak value, that build up, that made me feel like to this person, I matter. Yes, once again, I felt immediately grateful that my life matters to someone else’s. Her words made all the difference in that moment and they continue to give life and encourage as they roll through my mind just when I need to hear them.

Our words are powerful. Oh yeah, the Bible actually speaks to this. Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.” I pray you and I will remember this as we intentionally choose our words today, tomorrow and always!