ForgottenWoman

A Personal Perspective – Thoughts to Consider

I don’t think anyone would argue with me when I say that we live in a culture that is beyond accepting of “come as you are!” We’ve made it acceptable to come to church in jeans and casual shirts (I’m not complaining about this trend personally); we don’t raise an eyebrow anymore when 90% of those around us are dressed in yoga or workout attire everywhere except working out (where many are wearing next to nothing!) We see women out and about braless (I guess that’s some sort of freedom statement). And yes, we even joke about how many people we saw in the grocery store in their pajamas on any given day. It’s where we are! And yes… I want to challenge it. I’m not sure it is such a great thing. Please keep reading – just food for thought.

As a mom of many, I must admit that the relaxing of the “requirements” each Sunday has been a welcome change. No, I don’t dress them anymore, but for many years, a large part of the family budget was designated to “acceptable” Sunday clothes! And it was hard. I won’t get into the cost of suits, jackets, and ties for 6 boys or the acceptable blazers required for constantly growing teens to participate in church activities. Yes,, I loved the beautiful dresses, matching bows, frilly socks, and all that came with little girls and attending churches that expected such attire, but there is no denying how difficult it is to keep up with those standards. Often, it becomes the very reason to stay home. Anyway, I’m not against the more relaxed expectations for Sunday attendance that most churches have today – but I still believe it’s a good thing to get up, dress up, and show up as a rule in life.

So, let’s look a little further into what I’m talking about. I did my own personal experiment a couple of years ago, determining that my morning routine would include not only getting up (regardless of how good that bed feels) but immediately showering, putting on clothes that I would be comfortable anyone seeing me in and that make me feel dressed for success so to speak, fixing my hair in a way that goes beyond the ‘just woke up’ look and yes, washing my face and putting on at least a moisturizer and lip balm – and why not add some jewelry? You know what? It takes just as long to put on yoga pants or leggings as it does a nice pair of jeans or slacks, dress, or cute skort and attractive tops! It may take a minute or two to fix this hair, but it sure does feel better once it’s done, and I’ve discovered some really quick ways that are “fixed-looking ” while not fancy.

As I walked through this experiment and encouraged my friends to join me, I discovered something else. Something is refreshing about women dressing in a feminine way, and it’s really nice to see dresses, jeans, and tops designed for women and more.

What did I personally discover in this ‘experiment’”? For one, I am more productive whether at home or out and about when I do this in the morning! Secondly, my mood is elevated when I feel like I look decent and am not looking around every corner hoping I don’t run into anyone. And yes, I do feel more confident. That goes without saying. So now, I’m working to save my leggings, sweatpants, and pajamas for my evenings at home, when I am actually working out or, yeah, when I’m sick.

To be honest, I’ve let down my guard some and have gotten into a bit of a downtime during some seasons of life, and I let some of this go – but no more! One of my determinations this year is to pick this back up. I’m being more intentional in many areas of my life and this is one of them.

One of the things that has spurred me on: my own realization that I almost went to Walmart looking like I had just crawled out of bed last week, and my daughter said, “Mom, I’m not sure I’ve seen you go out in public like that before. You ARE going to change, aren’t you?” Um, yeah. Let’s think about how we got THERE!

For me, I got there when my confidence got so low that I didn’t think anyone even saw me. Why would my appearance matter if I’m invisible? Look around. Have you noticed the rise in depression, discouragement, anger, discontent, and more in our culture? When out and about, have you noticed how so many go about their business with their head down, refusing eye contact or, God forbid, communication? This “Get up, dress up and show up” may seem like a small thing, but it really does make a difference.

So, what are my morning requirements at this point?

*Well, of course, the shower goes without saying. I’m a bath at night and shower in the morning girl. Always have been. Clean has never been a question! And yes, I don’t leave the bedroom without a squirt of my light and fresh perfume!

*I’m a minimalist when it comes to make-up, so I have a favorite moisturizer that I wear every day with a hint of color, lip balm or gloss, and mascara. I have a necklace that never leaves my neck, my second piercing that always has the same small earring, and then I add earrings depending on what I’m wearing. I’ve also added bracelets with my smartwatch – and I love the way they make me feel.

*I take the time to either curl, braid, straighten, pull up or fix my hair in some way. The messy bun is only worn if I can make it look like it’s messy on purpose. 🙂

*I put on real clothes, most often jeans and a flowy top, a button-up, or a sweater in the cool months. If you choose comfortable, well-fitting jeans and a cute shirt or sweater, you can look perfectly put together very easily. In spring and summer, I love skorts and feminine shirts, sundresses, or lightweight jeans. Everything I wear is washable and comfortable! You don’t have to give up comfort to look nice. (And I’m all about comfort!)

*Instead of old, dirty sneakers, I usually wear flats, sandals, or boots and put on sneakers when playing tennis or walking.

I do it because I physically feel so much better when I do it, and my day goes better. Unless I’m so sick that I’m actually bedridden, I get ready, and I feel less sick after I’m dressed.

Being dressed and ready energizes me to get going with my day.

There is no getting around it. I feel better about myself when I’m dressed and ready. It’s an instant self-esteem booster. I’m less critical of my imperfections because I take time to accentuate the most attractive parts of my appearance. While I’m not big on self-esteem, I do believe in being the best that I can be – making the best of what God has given me.

In her book, Marie Kondo says if you spend your days in grubby clothes, you will begin to look like you belong in them. It’s like the broken window syndrome on a house. When you leave one thing broken, other things start to get left unrepaired as well, and soon the home looks awful. (Another thing to remember)

My health and my weight are my responsibility. I work hard to be sure my weight doesn’t get away from me because my jeans or “real clothes” won’t allow it. Yoga pants or leggings would. I can’t fluctuate more than ten pounds before I can’t fit into what I call real clothes. I’m very aware of how tight they’ve gotten, and I need to make some better choices.

Even on those days when I plan to be home all day, and no one else but my kids will see me, I still get dressed. I don’t know if they are consciously aware of this, but the message I’m sending is that they are worth looking nice for. They are as important as the strangers at the store.

I believe it’s important to give myself some time and effort. It’s like the expression, “You can’t draw from an empty well.” Meaning, you can’t give to others if you are empty. It’s important to spend some time each day to make myself look and feel human.

 I act better when I look better. This one makes me giggle, but it’s true. What I’m wearing affects my behavior. There is research to back it up.

I have an autoimmune disease that makes it so that some days I just don’t feel like functioning at all. I certainly don’t want to look like I feel!!! And if we always dress or don’t dress according to how we feel, we may not do anything or ever accomplish anything!

I know, I don’t normally focus on appearance – of course, it’s what’s in the heart that matters most; but what we present on the outside is often a reflection of what is on the inside. But as I’ve shared today, how we take care of and present the outside does affect how we feel on the inside. Think about it.

As always, thank you so much for reading AND for your support of my ministries. I pray daily that God will take my efforts and use them as He sees fit!

Get up. Dress up. Show up. Have a great day!