ForgottenWoman

Why? Oh Why?

Today’s blog article is on a bit of a different topic, but it’s an important subject that needs to be discussed. Repeatedly, in the past couple of weeks, this has come to my attention.

We hear much talk in today’s world about trauma, PTSD, abuse, anxiety, therapy, and counseling. I dare say that we have more people, including children, on anti-anxiety medication and sleep medication than we even want to know about! Have you noticed that we even have new word meanings in our vocabulary that coincide with these topics? Triggered is one of my least favorites, and yet, I know all too well its meaning!

My thoughts today are centered around the idea that while real trauma and real abuse exist, the popularity of the victim status has made it a wee bit difficult to identify what’s real and what’s perceived, who loves the victim mode, and who wants healing. Which therapists/counselors are pointing their clients toward healing and which are simply keeping us in a perpetual state of victimhood? Please understand that I’m not pointing fingers, don’t have a single individual in mind, and am not hinting at a particular situation or instance. I’m speaking generally of the state of our society, and I’m too familiar with what I’m talking about.

All of that leads me to today’s topic.

While it is easy to become stuck in a cycle of victimhood and victim mentality, most people want to be healthy, and when they seek help, they are hoping for a road to healing. A counselor who is dedicated to that healing is not quick to throw sleep aids and anti-anxiety meds in the direction of the counselee. Why? Because simply dealing with symptoms doesn’t heal – it merely prolongs the pain and the problem, though it may ease the suffering temporarily.

A good counselor, one dedicated to healing, is going to help you unpack buried pain – the deep pain beneath the surface of the wound. I’m not going to go into depth concerning what this looks like, but the subject today is on the dreams (the nightmares) that may occur while going through this process. I am not an expert on dreams and often wake up myself from a nightmare or difficult dream and wonder why and where it came from. What I’ve learned, however: is that when I’m working through past trauma, unpacking past wounds, and processing my pain – I’ll often have dreams surrounding the subject. I’ve found this to be true of my counselees as well.

Does this mean that the memories are better left buried deep beneath the surface, buried so deeply in our subconscious that we don’t remember what caused our pain? NO! The memories, the dreams, the recognition of the truth is necessary for true healing to take place. Think of it like a physical wound. If the infection is not dealt with, is buried deep beneath the surface without being rooted out; it will eventually destroy the entire body. I remember a time when one of my sons had a biking accident, and when I took him into the ER, the worst part of the visit was the removal of the gravel and dirt that was lodged inside the wound. My son still remembers the “horror” of those moments to this day. But what if the doctor had just bandaged the wound without cleaning it out? We would have had much bigger issues – it could have even led to the loss of my son’s leg! Our emotional wounds are the same, but we certainly leave the “dirt” of the original injury buried way too often.

In fact, it’s that original ignoring and patching over the original injury that leads to the issues that bring us to counseling later in life! So, the work of the counselor goes way beyond symptom control! The process is long and requires digging and processing, and yes, that often leads to dreams that leave us exhausted and emotional. But, going back to the physical comparison, when the cause of the pain is exposed, it can be dealt with!

Whew! I know this leads to many questions and thoughts about what the entire process looks like, but for some reason, today, I simply wanted to assure some of my readers that the dreams are not an indication that you are moving backward in your healing. They are the opposite! They are an indication that you are unpacking, cleaning out what you have buried – and as you process and deal with what is coming to the surface, you will experience the joy of true healing.

Trauma, abuse, deep wounds, and pain are not negative sentences on the rest of your life! Choose healing. Choose growth through pain. Choose a life that allows you to experience the joy of walking through deep waters and coming out on the other side as gold. And if that means suffering through night after night of dreams that you don’t understand, consider it a part of the healing journey and simply say, “Thank you, Lord, for these incredible bodies that You’ve given us with the ability to heal, and thank You for these incredible minds that You’ve given us with the ability to heal! How often have you heard that our physical bodies heal while we sleep? Isn’t it incredible that it appears God has created our minds to do the same? Just remember, a dream is just that: a dream. It cannot hurt you. It may leave you exhausted and feeling emotional, but you choose how it affects your next day. Choose to accept it as simply a part of the healing journey.