ForgottenWoman

Personalizing It

In an article recently I addressed the idea of living as a victim or victorious: Which “sash” are you wearing? During the past couple of weeks the conversations I’ve been able to have on this subject have been many. They’ve been insightful into the experiences, hurts, and mentalities of many who have suffered hurts of various kinds. In one of the conversations a dear lady was talking about her fight against breast cancer. She said that while she was in the midst of it, her pastor shared an illustration that stuck with her. As she shared it, I couldn’t help but think of it in terms of what I had just written about!

She said that her pastor held a small plant in front of him as he described a hardship that was a part of his life. As he stood and held the plant in front of him, it was definitely a part of the picture. He then picked up the large tree-like plant that was in the front of the church and he stood behind it – holding it. In this picture, he was no longer visible: only the large plant could be seen. She shared that in the moment that he gave this illustration she decided that her battle with cancer was not her entire life – it was a small part of her life and it would not become her identity.

I just can’t help it. This expresses so clearly the message that I want to convey when I ask what does your sash say, “Victim” or “Victorious”? We’re just taking the idea further today and I’m going to try to use my own life and experiences as an example as I share the depth of my desire to live victoriously no matter what!

Since I’m not an artist, I’m going to ask you to create this drawing for yourself – in your head if your artistic abilities are similar to mine. I can see it very clearly in my head. I stand as a 5’6″, 145lb, 60 year old woman with gray streaks througout my very natural hair and age lines on my skin. I bear 9 visible scars from 9 c-sections, a few smaller scars from the most major surgery of my life and many internal scars from all of that. Scar tissue clings to many of my organs and causes pain in various circumstances and ways. I was diagnosed with RA as a 23 year old and have lived with all that entails for many years. As a young person I was molested by three different individuals in three different situations. I became widowed at the age of 23 and suddenly learned what it meant to be a single mother. I lost my father to a devestating illness when I was 26. I’ve lived through years of verbal, emotional, financial and spiritual abuse – the kinds that bring visible wounds when brought to the surface through therapy. Today’s professionals have labeled the results as all sorts of PTSD. The trauma surrounding my last child’s story has it’s own label. Then, I am recently divorced after 30 years of marriage. I could go on; but I really don’t want to. I think that’s enough to make my point!

In your drawing – either literal or in your head, I want you to take each of these “hard” things that I’ve listed and place them as a part of the woman you see… each one a small mark, plant she is holding or stripe that she wears. And then I want you to understand that not a single one of the “hard” things has the power to claim her identity! On her head I want you to place a beautiful flower wreath and that wreath identifies her as the daughter of the Most High. THAT is her identity. (THAT is my identity.) If we want to go with the plant idea then stand her behind a table that holds all of the plants that represent the “hard” things but have her standing tall behind them – with that wreath on her head drawing your attention to her true identity and away from these “hard” things of her life.

See, we all have “hard” things that we walk through or carry in life. We determine whether those hard things are our identity or not! Too often, instead of focusing on healing or doing our best with the “hard,” we hunker down in our victim mode and let it overtake our true identity. Walking through life in victim mode not only prevents us from being who God created us to be; it makes what we’ve gone through void of purpose!

When we focus on who we are in Christ: guess what?! Our painful wounds become scars – but not grotesque scars; scars that give us compassion, hearts that love, eyes that see pain in others, a tenderness that draws, experience that says, “I get it!” and a joy that has proven that no circumstance can change who I am in Christ! Our scars remind us of our purposes in life and keep us humbly pursuing all that God created us to be – because we remember that He is sovereign. He allowed every single one of them and He promises to cause them to work together for our good and His glory – but only if we are His and allowing Him to do that work! Don’t hide behind those wounds and let them become your identity. Stand tall and strong and with that wreath on your head that says, “I am the daughter/son of the Most High!”