ForgottenWoman

When God says something, He means it. In I Thess. 5:18 it says, “In everything give thanks.” I’ve read it probably thousands of times in my life – and if you are a believer, own a Bible or have spent any time around believers, you’ve heard it too. The truth is that until this year, I didn’t really think too much about the “everything” part of the command. I, like many others often did the entire month of November as ‘Thanksgiving’ – intentionally stating and thinking about something I was thankful for every day. And, like many – I’ve asked children in my home or in a church setting to tell everyone what they are thankful for (especially during the month of November). In all of these years, I have never stated nor have I heard anyone else state that we are thankful for those things in life that on the surface we consider “not good,” “bad,” or outright “evil.” How can we say we are thankful for these things?

“Joy, what are you talking about?” Are you ready for a very real, raw discussion? Because that’s where we are going with this. This year I have learned to say:

“Thank you for rejection.”

“Thank you for financial stress.”

“Thank you for divorce from Mason.”

“Thank you for my RA.”

“Thank you for heartache beyond belief.”

“Thank you for a cancer scare.”

“Thank you for a letter that listed horrible character flaws within myself.”

“Thank you for lonely nights.”

“Thank you for hurt feelings.”

“Thank you for a broken fireplace.”

“Thank you for overwhelming sadness.”

I simply had to work to come to the point of saying, “Thank you!” for each of these before I felt thankful – and believe me; the feelings were not there when I chose the obedience. But in choosing the obedience, I was then able to focus on reasons that I SHOULD be thankful. I am not telling you this morning that I feel completely grateful for each of these in my life; but I am telling you that I am beginning to see why God would allow (though He certainly didn’t MAKE many of these happen) things like this in our lives and how He can use them for our good IF WE ALLOW HIM TO.

I will first point out that being thankful for some of the “ugliest” parts of life is humanly impossible. This is why the end of the verse states, “IN CHRIST.” In our human frailty, we are not capable of this – but In Christ all things are possible because it is He Who does the work in us.

So, let’s go back to the beginning of my list and let me share a tad bit of what God is teaching me right now in my very real day to day life walk and determination to be thankful in EVERYthing.

*Rejection: To be honest, this has been the hardest thing for me to say thank you for and it may be the hardest one for me to “feel” any gratitude for. But what I am realizing is that in being rejected by the man whom I was married to I’ve been forced to face truths that I denied to myself and buried for over 30 years. It is only when hard truths are acknowledged that healing can take place. I’m also realizing that the rejection has forced me to draw even closer to my Heavenly Father. I cling to Him and His Word like they are my lifeline – because they are! FOR THIS I CAN SAY THANK YOU.

*Financial Stress: I often think that while money doesn’t create happiness, it sure would make it easier to create happiness. Dealing with financial stress is not something that is unique to me – but when we know that our financial struggles are the result of the choices of others, it is a little more difficult to accept and be grateful for. In the past few years I have lived in such a state of “God, if you want me here, You have to be my source of provision,” and “God, if you want me to serve here, You have to be my source of privision,” that it’s become the “norm” for me. When no human being knows the need and only God hears my tearful prayers in the morning, noon and night – well; when He provides quite often in ways I couldn’t have imagined – I get to fall on my face and thank Him and know that He sees me, He sees my heart, He sees my desires, He sees my need and He provides! FOR THIS I CAN SAY THANK YOU.

*Divorce: This is not something I would have ever chosen in my life and it is something I’ve struggled be grateful for. While I’m asking Him to show me the positives of this reality in my life and what I’m learning is too personal to share, I am choosing to obediently say, “Thank you!” So, FOR THIS I CAN SAY THANK YOU.

*My RA: Rheumatoid Arthritis has been a part of my life since my early 20’s and it is something that has affected almost every aspect of my life. It is one of those autoimmune diseases that affects not only joints but organs as well. A friend of mine pointed out recently that it is because of my RA that I’ve been able to see the love of my children exhibited. The specific ways in which they have stepped up and taken care of me have been incredible blessings and have given us special moments together that I wouldn’t trade for anything! FOR THIS I CAN SAY THANK YOU.

*Heartache: Whew, this comes from many directions or in many forms and none of us are immune to heartache in life. How can we find a silver lining or something we can grab onto for our hearts to say thank you? For this one, I go back to Psalm 91. In my greatest heartache I hunker down and I pour out my emotions to the Almighty Who offers me shelter under His wings. Think about it – under HIS wings. If I abide in His shadow (walk as closely as I possibly can to Him) He provides shelter. Staying there when the pain of heartache is too great to bear, hiding there and allowing Him to bind up our heart wounds and give the comfort only He can give… we won’t experience that if great heartache doesn’t drive us there. FOR THIS I CAN SAY THANK YOU.

*Cancer Scare: Whether it is a personal scare or a diagnosis or scare for a loved one – the C word is something we don’t daily say, “Thank you” for! Two things that I realized recently with this – a health scare like this has the ability to make us more aware of what we are putting into our bodies on the regular (you know, we need to take better care of ourselves) and in the process of research we can learn many things that work to give us healthier, more productive lives long term. It also makes us more aware of how much the people in our lives mean to us; and hopefully will push us to express our love and treat others with more kindness and respect moving forward. FOR THIS I CAN SAY THANK YOU.

*Hateful Letter: Yes, I received one of these from someone who at one point I thought loved me and would protect me for the rest of my life. The words within the letter almost sucked the life right out of me – and filled me with such shock and horror that I struggled to breathe. It took me months to process the words and why they were stated. It also took me months to evaluate which, if any of the accusations were even partly true. What it eventually caused was a lot of personal introspection, humbly going to others and asking if they saw any of this in me, going to Scripture and prayer and asking God to “search me” and finally concluding that the purpose of the letter was to shift blame and guilt and that the words revealed more about the author than they did me. Talk about pain, humiliation, defeat, discouragement. Everything that means anything to me was attacked in this letter. Everything that I spent my life pouring into was attacked in this letter. My character and priorities were attacked… and it’s purpose was successful for a while – it almost destroyed me. But God! Through months of being willing to look at each point and dig for truth; my Heavenly Father used people and His Word to bind those wounds, to hush the lies that were planted in my head and to replace their memory with truth. I have been able to stop apologizing for who I am and be more fully who God created me to be. FOR THIS I CAN SAY THANK YOU.

*Lonely Nights: I am a people person and love doing life WITH people. I dreamed as a little girl of being married to someone who ate with me, watched movies with me, walked with me, decorated with me, dreamed with me, laughed with me, prayed with me, cried with me, talked with me… I don’t “like” not having this. Often I ask the Lord if He missed my dreams and plans as a little girl. Of course, He didn’t. So, what am I learning in my lonely moments day and night? Faith in an unseen God Who is the Father to the fatherless, the Husband to the widow, the Provider, the Comforter, the One Who holds our tears, The Just, The Merciful – my faith is built as I learn to talk to Him, to laugh with Him, to cry to Him, to praise Him while driving alone, to giggle and talk to Him when I fall off of a ladder hanging decorations alone. FOR THIS I CAN SAY THANK YOU.

*Hurt Feelings: Has anyone hurt your feelings lately? They say that those who love deeply, feel deeply, grieve deeply and I think it’s very true. I am what you would call an empath. I feel very deeply what you feel. I hurt and cry when I see someone else hurt and crying. I can lie awake at night and feel lonely for you if you have gone through a break-up. As a child, my dad would look at me sternly and I’d cry. Yes, sometimes he did this for fun because it was such a “given”. What this means is that I’m an easy target for someone who wants to hurt me. How can I find a reason to back up my “thankful” words in this? Well, I’ve learned to focus outward. If my eyes and thoughts are always on the needs of and reaching into the lives of others; there is very little room to notice when someone targets me. When I know I’m the target I have learned to intentionally put my focus on investing in someone else and in doing so, I’m growing! FOR THIS I CAN SAY THANK YOU.

*Broken Fireplace: My broken fireplace is just an example of some of the daily challenges we face that are difficult to give thanks for. I love sitting in front of the fire: love the heat and love the atmosphere. A few weeks ago when I paid to fill the propane tank (ugh) and then tried to light my fireplace it wouldn’t work! I shed a few quiet tears and began to pray for wisdom… every penny I had to my name just filled that tank. Remember that thankfulness for financial stress? I remembered a gentleman who has been an acquaintance for many years who had looked at my fireplace in the past and I reached out to his wife on social media. Within days he was here and my fireplace was working like new! As I thanked them I was reminded of the blessing of reaching into one another’s lives over many years and how important it is to use our knowledge and skills to help one another every chance we get. It reminded me to keep my eyes wide open for opportunities to practically help others on the daily. FOR THIS I CAN SAY THANK YOU.

*Overwhelming sadness: Lately, I’ve been thinking about what is sometimes called sweet sorrow. Our sorrow, regardess of it’s source can be considered a sweet sorrow when we recognize that we don’t bear it alone, that our Father promises that He sees our tears, that He never leaves us alone and that He is working all things out for His glory and our good. That is the sweetness in our sadness/sorrow. FOR THIS I CAN SAY THANK YOU.

I challenge you to join me in intentionally being obedient to I Thess. 5:18 “In everything give thanks for this is the will of God for those who are in Christ Jesus.”