ForgottenWoman

“I don’t and neither should you!”

Whew! Where to begin with this ‘oh so controversial’ topic!? Well, let’s start at the very beginning as they say. As a mom of 9 – a homeschooling mom at that; you can bet I’ve wrestled with all of the “things” over the years! As a believer; I’ve prayed over, studied everything I could find and listened to the opinions of hundreds (if not thousands) on the subjects that seem so mind boggling and controversial.

When my children were young; I felt very much that one of my most important roles was to protect them from things they could not yet discern for themselves: things that could hurt them, influence them in the wrong direction or confuse their young minds. This included many of the “harmless” fantasy or maybe not so harmless entertainment options available for them. I may have gone overboard; but I remember thinking that I’d rather be safe than sorry when it came to what was going into my chidlren’s minds and hearts. There was so much that taught good character, Bible stories, fun adventures and history that was available and I opted for those things instead.

Now, I may have skipped a little ahead instead of starting at the VERY beginning. The very beginning for me would have to go back to my own childhood and the decisions my parents made when it came to entertainment, holidays and for today’s consideration: Halloween. We didn’t make a big deal out of October 31 most years – either positive or negative that I can remember. I remember dressing as a bunny rabbit (probably when I was 3) but I don’t remember going door to door – though we probably did. I remember a few years when our school or youth group had special events on the 31st and we participated in those. Usually, there were restrictions on what types of costumes we could wear and there was always bobbing for apples and fun games involved. For a couple of years our Christian school hosted a haunted house event and it was just a fun time to be silly with our friends. During those days, I didn’t consider what the origins were, what everyone was wearing or not wearing and even if it was a positive or negative holiday. My father’s birthday was October 30 and I remember that sometimes we were celebrating him and ignoring those who were ringing our doorbell. Again… I didn’t have strong feelings either way.

Then came that memorable night when I was a junior in high school and our pastor played a recording of an experience he had recently had. A woman who said she had been a practicing witch for many years came to see him and was seeking salvation. He played the recording of the voices that came out of her, warned us of the reality of demonic activity and shared what she had told him about the rituals those who practice satanism were involved in on this date each year. It was harrowing (not to be silly – but that’s the only word I can think of!) My pastor at that time became a staunch believer in replacing the normal activities of October 31 with something for the family that was fun but free of all of the “spooky” witches, ghosts, etc. Our church started a huge family festival that year complete with crafts, games, food, candy and costumes (as long as they weren’t scary themed.) This was long before churches started doing Trunk or Treat. Again; I didn’t really care either way at the time – I always enjoy anything that is fun and went along with the church culture that I was a part of.

Back to me as a mother. My husband and the father of our two eldest boys had passed away before either was old enough to know that Halloween existed and I’ll never forget the first year after his death when I decided to do something with my boys for fun. I dressed them as little pirates and we joined some friends at the Bible College where I had attended and went door to door among the faculty there. I was stunned to see “spooky” decorations on their doors, to see some of them dressed as really scary characters and to be wholeheartedly enjoying handing out candy to all of the children who came by! There were so many confusing things rolling around in my head and at the same time; I had decided that my boys would enjoy the positive side of such an event and they did!

So… as the years passed and our family grew and my involvement in the homeschooling movement increased; we were surrounded by extremely conservative families and idealistic thinking was the rule. Yes, even we as parents can be greatly influenced by those we surround ourselves with! Well, I heard many arguments for pretending this holiday didn’t exist. Just turn your lights off and pretend all of the other children aren’t out collecting bags of candy! Just tell your children that the holiday is evil and your family doesn’t participate in evil! I studied the origins of not only this holiday but others that some Christian families were refusing to acknowledge. I understood where some were coming from but I also had this nagging thought in my mind: I am not celebrating evil – so why can’t my family enjoy the positives? This had to do with Christmas trees, gift giving, fun Christimas songs that weren’t strictly carols, Easter egg coloring and hunts… all of it! I’ll just tell you right here that I am a firm believer in Christians redeeming what could be completely evil by making it into something good and this is something that I have tried to do my entire adult life – but for many, Halloween is the exception.

I love fall. I love decorating for fall. I love the colors, the leaves, the smells… all of it. And for many years that’s all I enjoyed in October. False guilt from others? A desire to be 100% sure I was pleasing the Lord in how I operated in my home? Maybe some of both. And maybe a true understanding that there are some things that are a part of Halloween that I will have no part of. At the same time, I love parties! I love celebrations! I love any excuse to have fun!

My children are all adults now and they have a very clear understanding of good and evil, right and wrong, Christianity and Satanism. They also know what it means to be able to separate fantasy from demonic activity. It takes a lot more effort to study, to be informed, to know where to draw lines, to figure out how to enjoy life while maintaining a right heart before God than it does to simply throw out the baby with the bath water- so to speak.

Ask my kids and you’ll discover that I despise Harry Potter. I’ve heard all of the arguments for and against. I’ve read about the author from both positive and negative perspectives. I know many Christians who have no problem with their children not only reading but obsessing over Harry Potter. I don’t like it. It’s a personal thing – I don’t like anything that has to do with spells and witchcraft but I also have no business condemning a parent who has thoughtfully made the decision to talk with their children about what is made up and what is real and allow them to read Harry Potter. I don’t read or watch anything having to do wtih demons – because I believe the spirit world is real according to Scripture and I don’t want to celebrate evil or Satan’s minions in any way, shape or form. BUT, I like fun. I like dressing up. I like candy. I like watching children get joy out of pretending they are characters they like. I even think spiders and spider webs are gross but fun for the season. Just a couple of nights ago I arrived home to find a tiny little “ghost” hanging from my porch and I laughed out loud! I have a daughter who thoroughly enjoys playing with all sorts of decorations for the season – and I can laugh with her. We even hosted a party here for our family on October 31 during Covid – complete with costumes, food that looked like worms and fun, silly games. At the request of grandchildren, we plan to do so again this year.

So – here’s the point! If you are openly communicating with your family the difference in fantasy and evil – that is a good thing! If you can find a way to enjoy moments and days in life without celebrating the evil aspects that others associate with or practice – that is a good thing! I have learned that it is possible to work hard at separating what is good and what is evil from many things of this world and you and I should really put forth the effort to do so – instead of just saying, “I’m too righteous for that!” No – I’m not too righteous for anything. I am instructed in the Word of God to know the difference between what is harmful and what is harmless – our children and grandchildren appreciate it when we can grab a small sense of humor and play along. This year I plan to be the Mean Granny – we shall see!