ForgottenWoman

That will make you stop and think!

While my kids were growing up, we had a time on most days when we gathered in our den and talked about what I felt was important to discuss at the time. Those conversations were central to our days and often central to our understanding of one another. Many of those days, they would be allowed to stand before the group (all siblings) and give their own speeches. These were often full of laughter and sometimes quite serious and inciteful!

As you can imagine, I have those kinds of times with my grandchildren now. They call them “Grandmommy talks!” Sometimes all 6 of them are present, and sometimes these are one-on-one – but always, these are great times to get to know one another better!

This weekend I’m getting to spend quite a bit of time with grandboys – sometimes one at a time, and sometimes 2 to all 4 of them together. Whew! The talks we have will not only stir the mind but also stir the conscience and force some deep thinking.

After a fun evening of putt-putt and dinner together, which included quite a bit of driving in a packed car (with lots and lots of noise), we needed to have a short conversation about the importance of obedience when the adults responsible for your safety make a request. See, they had gotten rambunctious, found a pack of water bottles in the back of the car, and had begun having a terrific time pelting one another with these bottles. I could look in the mirror and see the joy on their faces and could, of course, hear the screeching and yelling between them, but I really needed to get it under control simply for safety reasons. I spoke and asked them to stop playing that particular game and to quiet down a bit, and well, it didn’t stop. I pulled over on the side of the road and just sat quietly in a parking lot and waited for them to notice that I had stopped! Yes, the fun continued for a good 5 minutes before anyone noticed that Grandmommy was sitting silent in a parking lot.

Once I noticed that they were looking strangely at one another, like – um, she’s never done this before! and not quite sure what to do, I turned around and simply said, “Ok. I’ve asked you to stop throwing water bottles and yelling, because I can’t drive safely with that going on. Are you ready to do what Grandmommy asked so we can go play putt-putt?” They all said, “Yes, ma’am,” and we started back on our way. The rest of the evening was perfect! Loud, fun, energetic, but they understood that they needed to listen when I made a request.

Later on, when talking through this with one of the older boys, I asked him why they hadn’t listened to me initially and explained that it really felt like they were ignoring me. He said quite honestly, “It’s just different when we are all together – we get carried away having fun and don’t really think about it!” I asked him if I had ever done anything to hurt them – his answer was no. I asked him if I had ever told them no because I didn’t want them to have fun. His answer was no. I asked him if I had ever done or said anything to him that made him feel like I didn’t love him. He said, “No, you love us SO much!” I was then able to explain to him that when an adult who loves them makes a request, he can trust that it’s for their good, and their obedience is a way to love the adult back. He smiled and asked for forgiveness for not listening last night, and it was all good.

Why do I share that story with you? Because the most valuable thing that I did with these boys in this whole thing is to talk to them – with respect, like they have minds that can comprehend the perspective of another, like boys growing into young men who need to value the authorities in their lives that desire only what’s best for them. Did the noise get on my nerves in the car? Yes – but so what! Did they hurt my feelings when they didn’t obey the first time? Yes – but so what! Other things are much more important!

The second story that I’ll share today from this weekend is one that I hope makes you giggle just a little bit and think a whole lot! There was a time frame when I had one boy in the car with me while waiting for others. He began telling me a story about a “scuffle” he and his brother had been involved in the day before. He shared who got mad at whom and the words that were said. As he told me, he said, “Sorry, Grandmommy – but I just couldn’t help it! I had to say it!” I asked him if he thought there was a better way he could have handled his frustration, and he said, ” Honestly, I really don’t think so! You know, I was just really mad!”

So, I thought I’d try another approach. I said, “Ok – let’s pretend you threw a ball and hit Grandmommy in the eye – and it hurt so bad it made me cry!” He looked at me sideways – like he knew what was coming. I then said, “Do you think Grandmommy would say to you the words you said to your brother?” He said, “That’s not really a fair question!” I said, “Why?” He said, “Because you’re the most ‘Christianist’ person I know!” Oh my! You know that I about fell out of the seat when he said that, and we laughed out loud for a while – and then of course, that led to the discussion about what that even meant! I reminded him, “I’m no more of a Christian than you are if you have Jesus as your Savior!” He said, “You know what I mean!”

Yes, I’m thankful that he thinks there are things Grandmommy doesn’t say and do because she loves Jesus – and I’m also thankful for every opportunity to have honest conversations with each of them about what it means for each of us to love Jesus and live for Him. And I’m really thankful that they feel comfortable telling me the truth about what’s going on in their lives and exactly what they think!

I hope you’re encouraged by my very honest and personal stories this morning, and I hope you will find opportunities to love your people big and loudly today!

As always, I thank each of you who supports the ministries of The Forgotten Woman – both the local outreach as well as the online efforts! I cannot emphasize enough how much each means! Every $5 monthly support, every $50 monthly support and every $100 monthly support make a difference. The bottom line is that because of your love and support, lives are being changed. (Because God takes my little efforts and does HIS thing!) It is truly an eternal investment. THANK YOU!