ForgottenWoman

Why is it so hard?

When I embarked on what I call my forgiveness journey a couple of years ago, I had no idea that the depths of forgiveness God’s way looks nothing like what I had understood for most of my life! Two years into this journey and I am still learning day in and day out more of what God requires of His children who choose to do this His way. The sad realization that I’ve come to is that we, as believers, walk through this life with a very surface knowledge and even less understanding of all that God desires for us to walk in.

That all sounds general and distant, I know; but bear with me as I begin to write a series of articles sharing my own process and journey. My purpose is to open my heart and mind to you in transparency and invite you to consider the things that I’m learning and experiencing. I long to invite you into your own walk of forgiveness and allow God to chip away, burn off the dross, refine and make us more like Him so that we can better point others to Him.

Today’s question is simple. Why is it so hard? The answer is one that after two years, I’m just beginning to understand. Trust me when I tell you that a surface understanding of forgiveness is nothing like the forgiveness God calls us to. Throughout the coming articles, we’ll discuss specifics but think about this. Have you ever had a small offense occur in your life – something like an old friend seemingly snubbing you in a public setting? For a moment you felt the sting but chided yourself and shrugged it off, telling yourself that you really didn’t care? Over time you realize that something has changed in your relationship with this friend but can’t put your finger on what the problem is. After all, it wasn’t a big deal – so the shrug and the thought of, “I don’t care,” should have taken care of it. Or, maybe you’ve been hurt deeply by someone that you love deeply. In an effort to keep the peace, you told yourself to be the bigger person and forgive and move on. You’ve even told them and/or others that you’ve forgiven them – throwing up your hands and saying, “It doesn’t affect me anymore!” The truth is that with each “offense” or hurt, there is a wound (whether great or small) and if it isn’t dealt with several things are possible. One is a hardness of heart within the one hurt. I don’t know about you; but I certainly don’t want to become jaded, skeptical of all, hard-hearted or even emotionless as I walk through life. Another thing that is possible is bitterness. Sadly, a root of bitterness can become pretty securely planted in our hearts without our even realizing it. As we proceed, I’m sure we’ll discuss many other effects of not practicing true forgiveness as a lifestyle. Yes, I said that. A lifestyle.

The question I raised to begin this series was, “Why is forgiving God’s way so hard?” The simple answer is that we tend to like the easy ways of life – and believe me; God’s way is rarely easy. But it isn’t easy that makes me more like Him. It’s searching, studying, praying through and choosing His way in all things that grows me, matures me; and makes me more like Him. I hope you’ll walk with me through this journey – we’re going to dig deeply together, just as I’ve done with a group of women weekly for the past two years. Again, we’ve discovered that forgiving God’s way is hard – really hard – but we are choosing complete obedience in this area. I’ll go ahead and warn you that you may not like some of what I say moving ahead. You may be very uncomfortable with some of what I say. You may want to argue against some of what I say. And, that’s ok. I simply want to share with you what God is teaching me and sadly; even as believers, we’ve bought into an awful lot of the world’s philosophy when it comes to forgiveness. That’s why it is so hard! Much of what psychology, therapy, and self-help books tell us is contrary to what God says. Period.

So, hang on and watch for it. Feel free to send me an email response or even openly comment when you agree or disagree moving forward. Let’s be iron sharpening iron – and let’s learn to Forgive God’s Way.