ForgottenWoman

I Bet You’ve Heard of the Chief’s Kicker Now!

Unless you have been intentionally disconnected from the cultural screams this past week, then you are aware of the commencement speech made by Harrison Butker. His words have caused quite a stir and some of you are quite tired of hearing about it. To you, I apologize – sort of. I’m going to ask you to read just one more opinion and consider before jumping on the bandwagon to mock, criticize and even demonize him.

To be honest; I can’t write today’s article without addressing the ‘elephant in the room’. I’m a 60 year old mother of 9 who has dedicated my entire life to the nurturing of my family. I find myself facing a future I never anticipated: one in which I am alone, not spending my days and nights with the husband I devoted my life to and not being financially taken care of for those years I invested. Some would say that I messed up big by not pursuing a career that financially guaranteed that I would be ok at this stage of my life – instead of making my family my priority. As I face the day to day realities of my life now: I would disagree with that assessment with every fiber of my being.

I didn’t choose homemaking, homeschooling and ministry based work because I am uneducated, not qualified, incapable of “real” work or “less than” the woman who has chosen a career outside of her home. I chose what we believed was best for our family and those entrusted to my care. I look at those 9 adults today and while I cannot and do not try to take the credit for who they are and the impact they are making on this world: I know that my life and my choices have not been in vain. I believe I walked in the vocation that God created me for – and I simply have to close my ears to the world that seems to continually scream that my impact on the world, my ‘career’ is less than any other.

Having said all of that – I have listened to the full speech that has caused such a stir. I’m not Catholic in my beliefs but I understand completely why Harrison would talk openly about his beliefs in a Catholic school graduation speech. His comments on the family though: spot on!

He told women not to buy the lie that their career is more important than being a wife and mother. I 100% agree! I heard him say that being a homemaker is one of the most important titles a woman can have. I 100% agree! I heard him tell men not to buy the lie that they are not needed in their homes and in their communities. Not only do I wholeheartedly agree with him, but I believe this message needs to be repeated. I’m so proud of my sons for “screaming” this message loud and clear whenever possible. I heard him say that we should do hard things that glorify God even if it is not our favorite thing to do. I heard him say that it is important to be faithful in the little things. He also mentioned that we should surround ourselves with people who will encourage us to walk with God and not away from Him. (How important this is! Iron sharpening iron.) I also heard him say that life without God is not a life at all. Again: I 100% agree. The messages in these words were again; spot on!

I didn’t hear anything misogynistic. In fact, I heard a man choke up with tears as he gave credit to his wife: mentioning what a difference she has made in his life. He didn’t tell any of the women in that graduating class not to use their training or to let men walk over them. He didn’t tell them that the man is the boss and she is nothing! Instead, he told them how valuable their roles are! He told them to make sure they have their priorities in order, to prioritize God and family over career accolades and titles. Oh, and in case you didn’t hear it – he spoke to the men on this same subject: about how their “work” should never be a distraction from being a husband and father.

For those women who don’t marry or can’t have children: don’t forget all of the amazing ways in which you can be a nurturing presence in this world! That’s a topic for another day. For now; I’m grateful for a man who spoke boldly on the topic of roles in the family, and who, instead of downplaying his wife’s role and value: obviously cherishes her and publically said so. I’m grateful that he reminded men of their value and priorities and I hope his message continues to be heard.