ForgottenWoman

Pray for them!

This morning on social media I shared a thought that we’ve been discussing in our Bible study on Forgiveness: I basically said, “I dare you to pray for the one who has hurt you most!”

I’m writing this morning for a couple of reasons – one is in response to something that was said to me about my post and another is to emphasize the importance of the dare.

In a phone conversation soon after my post, a gentleman said to me, “If I am praying for the one who has hurt me the most; I’m praying for myself!” He then went on to state that it is a good dare though. I hung up and as I always do, I considered his words and questioned myself.

Those of you who have spent any time in what we call “Christian circles” are probably familiar with the concept of humbly acknowledging who we are: but dust, a worm, our own biggest problem. In fact, in one period of my family’s life we were advised to not accept a compliment on a song well sung or played, but to deflect a compliment with words like, “Praise the Lord – It’s all about Him; my voice came from Him,” etc. Just a side note here: how much more gracious it is to just say, “Thank you!” and move along. These types of expressions or responses to the kindnesses of others always seemed like a false humility to me. But I digress! I’m sure that the gentleman’s words this morning were not meant as a condemnation of me or as a false humility type of statement – but because of my background: that is what I heard and I’m sharing with you where my thoughts went from there.

As is the case when we have been wired to think in certain ways, my initial thought was to question myself. “Should I be agreeing with him, saying that I have hurt myself more than anyone else has ever hurt me? Isn’t this the Christian way to think? Am I being proud and assuming to think that anyone else has ever hurt me more than I have hurt myself over the years?” Then, because of much hard work I began to correct my thoughts – and answered my own questions. “NO! I know for a fact that I haven’t spent my life hurting myself. Of course, I’ve made sinful choices. Of course, I’ve made mistakes. But I cannot truthfully say that I have hurt myself more than I’ve been hurt by those who have truly done wrong toward me! I could say I have; but that would be dishonest!”

So; if you can honestly say that you have not been deeply hurt, wounded, abused or damaged by someone you once trusted – you have much to be thankful for and you can probably say that you are the one who has caused yourself the most harm in your life. That is a blessing – because once you recognize that; YOU get to deal with it. Be very thankful that you haven’t suffered at the hands and will of another human.

If you, however; have been deeply hurt by someone – someone that you can put a face and name on, someone who not only inadvertently made mistakes that caused you discomfort or pain; but who made deliberate decisions that wounded you deeply – I challenge you: PRAY FOR THEM by name, consistently, intensely. See what God can and will do!

And lastly, if you are a believer and you have to re-wire your thinking to think more like Christ and less like the “circle” – saturate yourself in God’s Word, in prayer and focus on Him alone. He is our righteousness, He is our source of hope, He is our strength, He is the love He wants us to offer to others. Knowing this will rightly set our minds and hearts and keep us humble before Him. No false humility needed. And next time you use the gifts He has given you to sing, to speak, to write, to play, to lead, to encourage, to decorate, to inspire, to nurture – and someone compliments you: it’s ok to simply say, “Thank you!” and walk away smiling because God Who began a good work in you is still working in you!