ForgottenWoman

Real Love is Not~

The holiday season brings much that remains buried during the rest of the year to the surface. This is why we often observe or experience abnormal impatience, emotional instability, or outbursts, heightened anxiety, unrealistic personal expectations, and more! I’m sure that someone much smarter than I could expound on why this is, but I’m just going to address what I know to be true!

This particular year, my heart and mind have been forced to acknowledge the fragility of life. Several who are close to me have lost family members to death this month, I have family members struggling physically like they never have before, the death of a neighbor, and, along with all of you, I’ve heard the news reports of lives taken by evil men and women. Most of us walk through holidays with an ache in our hearts for those whom we have loved who are no longer with us. Accidents, fires, disease, and more are all a part of our lives – and remind us that yes, life is fragile.

I absolutely love the holidays and birthdays and any excuse that I can find to love BIG! I’ve read articles by believers who have ditched the whole Christmas idea because of beliefs that it is rooted in paganism, commercialism, and more. My take is a little different: I love choosing to remember our Savior’s birth and celebrating Him – whether that is what others are doing or not! I also love every single opportunity I have to express my love to my people – I mean, what could be more wonderful than that?

Last night, after our family Christmas Day activities were finished and the family groups returned to their homes and those who share our home were cleaning up the aftermath of a lot of love shared; I let my mind soak up every moment in my memory, the sound of the laughter, the giggles, the words exchanged, the hugs, the incredible generosity of these children I call my own (toward one another, one another’s kids and me!). It was like one of those AHA moments when I was loading the dishwasher for the second time) and I thought… You know, life is fragile, but love is not!

When we really love, our connection is strong, our desire to overlook little things is great, our willingness to forgive big mistakes is huge, and we never give up on one another! In other words, those who really love you see you with hearts and eyes that encompass not only your good traits, but all of your messiness, your flaws, and quirks. To be honest, a lot of the laughter around our home is based on the ability to joke with one another about our shortcomings (not sin – just imperfections) and yes, a lot of it is about me! You know why I’m ok with 20 people laughing with me about my quirks? Because I know that they love me! When jokes come from obvious places of love, they aren’t mockery, they aren’t belittling, they aren’t even felt as critical – they feel like loving acknowledgement that “You know Mom… she drives like this, loses things like this, cries about this… and we all know it!” “Grandmommy, how many mailboxes have you hit?” is proof that the grands have taken in all of the joking! To me, those kinds of moments are reminders that we love one another well enough and that we know each other really well: the good and the not-so-good. The love is strong, and the bond cannot be broken~

Some will say that they love you, but if the “love” is fragile enough to be shattered by your imperfections, if the “love” is more concerned about themselves than you, if your needs are considered burdens and “bothers” instead of opportunities to express how valuable you are to them… that is not love. Love is not fragile. Love is not selfish. Love does not boast. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not critical. Love is not mocking. Love is compassionate. Love thinks not of its own needs but of others. Love bears all things. Love is faithful. Love never walks away.

We know that life is fragile and there is much we cannot control about that, but real love is strong and real love is a choice. How do I know that? Because God instructs us to love. It is an action – and I know for sure that the more we choose love, the stronger it becomes!

So, during this holiday season, I’m taking some time to remember those who were missing in my home this year, those who have passed away, and those whom I wish I could express my love to. I’m remembering those who loved me in a way that gives me strength today – long after they have left this world. And in doing so, I realize how strong real love is – that it has the power to impact our lives beyond our presence in the room! Remember that our lives on this earth are fragile, but real love is strong and will outlive our days on this earth!