ForgottenWoman

Loving Goodbyes

The year was 1986 and I was sitting in the audience among a group of women while a widow in her 30s was speaking. I wish I could remember her name to give her credit for this – but while I don’t know all of the details of her story, I will never forget one line. Happy Hellos and Loving Goodbyes. Her story disturbed me – I had been married for 2 years and was a new mom. I loved my little family and life immensely. To hear her share about the death of her husband brought me to tears and made me feel very uneasy. Her point was simple and the impact is still with me today.

Rarely do I see someone that I know that I don’t feel excited and greet them with a “happy hello!” My family and friends often receive not only a happy hello but a hug as well. Why? Because I truly love you and I want to express that – and because I believe people need to know that someone is truly glad to see them.

And no – I won’t just leave. I’ll make it a point to hug you goodbye as well. Most of the time, I’ll tell you that I love you as we part ways. Again – too often we assume that others know how we feel about them. They don’t! We need to hear that we are loved; and I can do that for my people.

I did a little bit of research to justify my endless hugs. 🙂 Take my word for it – they are good for both the giver and the receiver! I know, in this world some people don’t appreciate their “space” being invaded, so I won’t hug you unless I know it’s ok with you – but family, you don’t get a pass! You’re going to get the biggest, strongest hugs I can possibly give you.

You know – that morning in 1986, when I listened to this young widow speak, I had no idea that her words would not only impact my life for years to come; but I was so grateful for them when just a year later I joined the ranks of young widows when at 23, I lost my own husband in an automobile accident. Our loving goodbye, hugs, kisses and his wink and wave as he drove away from me for the last time have given me precious moments to cling to since his death.

So – if I see my loved ones today and get to see them again tomorrow; guess what? I’m going to be really, really happy and I’m going to hug them! And when we part ways, yep; I’m going to feel sad and I’m going to hug them again and tell them that I love them. I hope you’ll think about giving this gift to your loved ones as well.