ForgottenWoman

When the Heart Cries

One of the overarching purposes of the Forgotten Woman Ministries is spreading hope for all circumstances and situations of life. We choose daily whether we will be victims or victorious. I believe that. I tell friends that. I teach that! I also know that sometimes in our day to day lives, hope feels out of reach. Then what?

To be fully transparent with you, I have to tell you that when I share these vulnerable corners of my heart; I feel weak, I fear that I sound whiny and I pray fervently that I don’t dishonor the name of Christ or downplay His amazing love for us in my honesty about my own heart and struggles. I truly want to walk victoriously in every circumstance and situation.

Having explained that, tonight I’m just going to bluntly write, as if I’m sitting next to one of you, my dear friends, and revealing the deepest, darkest corners of my heart. Some of you are going to listen with understanding hearts, others are going to cry with me because you are struggling with your own hard circumstances and then there may be a few of you who won’t read, because you really prefer the upbeat stuff. That’s ok. This is for those who need it.

To be direct – my tears have hovered just below the surface now for most of the summer. I’ve had a few private moments of ‘breaking down’ in sobs but for the most part I’ve been busy loving and doing life with my family and friends and keeping things under control. In fact, I may have bragged a little bit about how well I’ve ‘handled’ hard anniversaries this year. In reality, I’ve survived them. But today, I’ve shed many tears, I’ve been once again sick on my stomach (which I was for months on end last year) and I’ve just felt like I couldn’t even carry on conversation with family and friends.

I’m not going to go into detail about the circumstances that I’m walking through or the heart breaking realities that I still work to come to grips with. What I want to focus on is how in the world do we navigate these days/nights? Y’all, I’m in conversations with no less than a dozen people right now who are facing very similar heartaches and who text or call or message and simply say, “Please pray for me right now. I’m struggling.” I know exactly what they are saying – but I cannot relieve their burdens. I want to tell them what I’m learning to do, though, because we are never without hope.

So, tonight I’m going to share with you a song that I’ve written – I guess you can read it like a poem since you can’t hear the music. I’ve played the melody of this song for the past 7 years… and just this year I finally added the words. I play and sing and the tears roll down my face almost daily as this song reminds me that I have a Heavenly Father Who is actually always waiting for me to come to Him when I feel there is no hope left. His purpose for my life will be accomplished if I will stay humbly at His feet.

Father, it’s me, I come to thee, You said to come to you, abide beneath your wings; So here I am, Your child undone, This life has shown me I’m in need of You alone.

This is my prayer, this is my plea; Oh, hear the cry I bring to Thee. This is my prayer, this is my plea; Oh, hear the cry I bring to Thee. Father, it’s me.

Renew my mind with truth each day, Help me to seek Your will in all I do and say. My flesh is weak, My will doth fail. Through You alone the strength to live – over sin prevail.

This is my prayer, this is my plea; Oh, hear the cry I bring to Thee. This is my prayer, this is my plea; Oh, hear the cry I bring to Thee. Father, it’s me.

My life is Yours, and Yours alone. Each scar I wear has lain me prostrate at your throne. I praise Your name for Who You are. You chose me as your child and for my sins were scarred.

This is my prayer, this is my plea; Oh, hear the cry I bring to Thee. This is my prayer, this is my plea; Oh, hear the cry I bring to Thee. Father, it’s me.

*This is my prayer, this is my plea; Oh, hear the cry I bring to Thee. This is my prayer, this is my plea; Oh, hear the cry I bring to Thee. Be glorified in me!

Regardless of where our emotions have us sitting today; we have an advocate with our Father – One Who cares, and One Who has allowed absolutely everything in our lives that brings us pain, suffering and tears. He has allowed it because He is able to not only carry us through it, but to glorify Himself in us as He does His work in our circumstances. He never promised us an easy road. He never promised us that all of our dreams would come true. He never promised us that we would be loved, liked or even tolerated on this earth. What He did promise is that He will work all things out for our good and His glory.

Father, it’s me! Be glorified in me!