ForgottenWoman

Do I believe that He is really God?

When was the last time that you asked God to do something in your life that only He can do – I mean the impossible in human terms? May I share with you a journey I am personally on?

If you have read portions of my Defining Moments blog or have purchased my book, Abort or Die, you know that there have been times in my life that I found myself in such a desperate place that I had no choice but to cry out to God for miracles in my life: the kinds of things that we are often afraid to share with others. Yes, there were moments that I share in Defining Moments when I knew people were whispering about my mental state: “She’s lost her mind! She’s asking God for flowers and then telling us that someone handed her flowers the next day! She’s asking God for some sort of sign that Jonnie is really ok – and claiming that God placed a star within her vision for her comfort. She’s praying for reminders that Jesus is really coming back for her, and she’s going to be reunited with Jonnie and then saying that someone pulled in front of her with a taped message on the back of his truck saying, ‘Jesus is coming soon are you ready?’ She’s saying that she prayed one night that the Lord would let Jonnie know that she’s ok and that she is doing her best to take care of his boys and the next morning her sister gave her a poem and a vase of flowers and the poem was titled, ‘I’m now safely home in heaven!” Yes – all of that was true of my prayer life in those desperate days of 1987 – and for several years after. I’m sure many doubted my sanity because we just don’t live in that kind of world in our day to day…

Then in my Abort or Die story my sanity was once again questioned by doctors and I’m sure many others. In fact, I had one Pastor ask me, “Who do you think you are that God would do a miracle for you?” My very life and the life of my son depended on Almighty God working miracles. Day after day lying in the hospital bed I cried out to God quite literally for the humanly impossible. And He answered! Even after things calmed down and my athiest doctor acknowledged the miracle when she said, “Someone else was in that operating room with us! We could not save you,” some who claim to be followers of Christ questioned me, looked at me like I had three heads and tried to downplay what God had done!

What I have been recognizing and to be honest, privately complaining about is that it feels like God wants to keep me in this place of desperation. A place where I don’t understand what is happening, cannot change what is happening, am unable to see my way to a comfortable and easier life. The past few weeks I’ve been driven back to a place of desperate and fervent prayer and as I study and practice what I am learning, I am certain that this is where God wants us to live! My life mottos say this: “Get your mind out of time and into eternity!” and “Saturate to Imitate,” and “May Christ be seen in me!”

I cannot live out those life mottos if I am living according to the philosophies and wisdom of this world. Claiming to be a believer and being satisfied with the status quo of daily life just seems contrary to what God really wants for me! Walking with my hand holding on to His, depending on Him for my everything, is exactly what He desires from me. He wants me to cling to Him. He wants me to rely on Him. He wants me to give Him the glory when He accomplishes things that only He can achieve in my life. That includes every aspect of my life: Physical, Financial, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual. He can do all things and He wants me to stop depending on anyone or anything other than Him. I’m convinced of that. Many things He accomplishes through His other children who are obedient to His leading and when we see Him working in that way – oh what a bond He creates between those who love Him and ask Him to direct our daily steps and invest in the lives of one another. It’s just an incredible journey.

Don’t get me wrong. My flesh continually tenses up and tries to fret and questions circumstances: but as I learn to take every thought, every need, every burden, every wound, every doubt and every fear to Him: He steps in and faithfully takes care of His child. I’m truly learning to ask Him for things that seem impossible; things that I cannot humanly accomplish; things that no one else can take the credit for. I’m just done being afraid to do exactly as His word instructs. I don’t care if my sanity is questioned by the stoic, proper Christian community. This is what I read in God’s Word.

*Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you! *But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. *You keep track of all my sorrows: You have collected all my tears in your bottle. *Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!
*Ask and it shall be given. *Call unto Me and I will answer thee and show thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not! *He will call upon me and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honour him. *The Lord is far from the wicked but He hears the prayer of the righteous. *And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. *If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. *Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. *Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. *Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. *Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. *Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

So, my question to you is this. When was the last time you faced something that consumed your thoughts, your dreams, your days? Did you pick up the phone and make frantic calls to the humans in your life that you turn to in difficult situations or did you get on your face before Almighty God, your Father and give it to Him? When was the last time you boldly asked Him to do the impossible in your life? Me? I’m hanging there this week – clinging to His Sovereign hand and boldly begging Him to do the miracles in my life and circumstances. Instead of cautioning one another against praying boldly: we should be pushing each other to do exactly what He desires for us to do – which is to humbly cast all of our care upon Him and then boldly declare His wondrous works when we see Him do what seems impossible.