ForgottenWoman

What? Did I Do That?

In one of the Bible Studies that I’ve been doing recently the author, Lysa Terkeurst introduces a concept that she calls ‘Hushing Humility.’ I grabbed that little phrase and have been ruminating on it all week!

The idea that God hates pride; yes, He says so – is something that we know intellectually; but I’m afraid we often find ourselves sitting in places of pride because we inadvertently hush humility when we should be leaning in to it.

What does that look like? I think it starts with those moments of doubt that we allow to grow into full blown questioning Who God really is and how He feels about us! Satan is the master deceiver. He didn’t come right out and call God a liar when he addressed Eve. He put a question to her that she allowed to turn into doubting what God had said. He uses our own weaknesses to do the same to you and I – daily! “If God really loved you, He wouldn’t be letting this happen to you!” Once I let that thought take root in my heart, I am hushing the humility that I should be leaning into. And once I let those thoughts begin to run through my mind; I can easily find myself in a domino effect. “Well, if God is Sovereign; wouldn’t He be changing my circumstances?” “If God is all powerful; why don’t I see Him working on my behalf?” “Sure, God loves those people out there – but apparently, He doesn’t love me!”

So, I begin hushing humility by questioning what God tells me very directly in His Word. It isn’t a far walk from there for me to then start thinking that I deserve better than God is allowing in my life! I have gone from humbling myself before Him and accepting ALL THINGS as from Him; to questioning Him from my little perch that has decided that He didn’t really mean what He said in His Word, and therefore: He is letting me down.

Hushing humility also looks like ignoring the conviction of the Holy Spirit when my thoughts are focused on me – instead of on Him and His glory. Whew; this is an easy one to fall into. There is something inside of me that wants everyone to know the truth when someone has wronged me. I don’t want anyone to think that I deserve the treatment I’m receiving or that I caused what I’m walking through. When I’m walking with the Lord as closely as I know how – He convicts me of these thoughts and reminds me that I am but dust. I am but a child here to serve Him and point to Him. Who cares what anyone thinks of me? Who cares how anyone treats me? It really doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things – in light of eternity. So, why am I letting it hurt me so deeply and why am I so desperate for humans to recognize what is really happening? That Holy Spirit conviction tells me to humble myself before God and trust Him with everything: including what others know or think of me. Hushing humility is when I ignore that urging and continue to focus on me.

These are just a few of the things that the Lord has been teaching me this week. I do NOT want to be guilty of ‘hushing humility’. I want to walk humbly before my God and beg Him to transform my heart to a place where He truly is all that matters; where I don’t question Him or His Word. A place where I fully trust Him with not only my provision, my pain and my future but also with what anyone thinks or knows about me. He and His glory is what matters.

Just today I felt that convicting of the Holy Spirit. I was “hushing humility” while walking through my day and allowing my thoughts to question His love for me and the love of others for me. I was “hushing humility” when I was concerned about the truth of a situation being made known. In that moment of conviction I found myself praying out loud, “Lord, I trust You with all of this! The entire truth may not be known by anyone but You until after I’m dead and gone – and that’s ok. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I love you, love others and serve you and serve others to the best of my ability – regardless! Forgive me for thinking of myself and my own pain and please help me to honor You no matter what!”

Now: how can you and I be certain that we are not guilty of this “Hushing Humility?” I think we have to go back to renewing our minds – staying IN the Word and staying in a posture of prayer continually. The world draws our hearts and minds to self constantly. We have to be working to abide in the shelter of the Most High – and hide in the shadow of His wings.