ForgottenWoman

Is this really a necessary study?

When I embarked on a personal quest to understand and live out Biblical Forgiveness last year I had a minimal idea of where it would take me.  Now, many months into my own quest and several months into teaching what I am learning I’m getting numerous requests to put “all of this” into written form.  For many reasons, it seems best right now to do this in bite-size pieces:  blogposts.  What you are currently reading is the introductory blogpost.  It will be followed by more:  and trust me when I tell you that if you stick with me on this journey, you will not only find new understanding and freedom in your walk with Christ;  you will be equipped to help many others.  The fact is that each of us needs to know what God says about forgiveness, simply because not only do we each sin and need forgiveness;  we do life with imperfect humans who need our forgiveness.

Why is this subject of such great importance to me, and why do I believe that it should also be of great importance to you?  In simple terms:  I want to be more like Jesus and I have come to realize that unforgiveness is a barrier to that kind of growth.  In terms of my testimony (what others see in my life) human forgiveness is the best example of living out the message of the gospel in everyday life.  As we dive more deeply into the study, you will find that there are many reasons to spend the time and effort to study this subject but I hope these two will inspire you to move forward with me.  

A quick google search will allow you to find a variety of opinions, educational information, sermons, and other books on the topic.  Have you yet learned how dangerous it is to simply “google” and believe whatever you read?  I sure have!  Over the past year of deep study on Forgiveness, I have seen, heard, read, and explored much.  What I can assure you before you read further is this:  I have taken each piece, each article, each sermon, each blog, and each book and researched.  If it does not line up with God’s Word, we won’t be suggesting it.  If it is controversial and there are a variety of opinions that don’t contradict God’s Word but are coming from different perspectives;  I’ll share them with you.  I’ll also share my conclusions and trust you to be wise and prayerful enough to determine your conclusions for yourself.  That’s the wonderful thing about adult conversation;  respect for one another allows us that freedom.  I hope you can read each of these blogposts and feel that you are in my living room or at my kitchen table and we are talking through one of the most important topics of life and helping one another on a journey to look more like Jesus.  

So, let’s dive in. I’ve made my own list of what Forgiveness Is and What it Is Not.   This is a great place to begin simply because it clears up much misunderstanding from the start.  Don’t worry – each of these will be discussed more thoroughly throughout the blogpost series.

True forgiveness is not easy.    It is hard.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what’s been done.  It is recognizing what has been done and choosing to release the consequences to God.

Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.   Forgiveness is between me and God.  Reconciliation would have to be between me, God, and the one who has hurt me.

Forgiveness is not an emotion or feeling.   It is a choice.

Forgiveness is not pretending you were not hurt.  It is recognizing it fully and walking through it.

Forgiveness is not condoning what was done to you.   It is acknowledging that it was wrong but that only God has the right to deal justice.

Forgiveness is not trusting the offender.   It is trusting God to deal with the offender.  

Forgiveness is not relieving the offender of responsibility.   It is simply choosing to relinquish my right to hold him responsible.  

Forgiveness does not equal tolerating abuse.  It is choosing to relinquish my need for vengeance while putting up boundaries between myself and the offender.

Forgiveness does not instantly heal the hurt.   It is the beginning of a long journey of healing.

Forgiveness is not forgetting.    It is remembering clearly and facing the offense head-on and choosing to relinquish my need for justice and placing it on God’s hook!  The memories will remain and we choose repeatedly to place our feelings back onto God’s hook with each remembrance.  

Forgiveness is rarely a one-time, climactic event.   It is most often a process that must be walked through.

Forgiveness is not approving of sin.    It is recognizing that we have all sinned, and only God is the righteous judge.

Forgiveness is not waiting for an apology.    It is a choice to forgive whether or not an apology ever comes.

Forgiveness does not relieve all pain associated with the offense.   It is feeling the pain and still choosing to forgive.